Sergey Kadinsky

They hold state licenses, undergo detailed background checks, and wear uniforms. They undergo extensive training, but for much of the public, they are known as simply as “rent-a-cops.” With holiday crowds and a tough economy, the security guards of Middle Village’s Metro Mall are on the lookout for potential shoplifters and rampaging crowds.

Trained to keep the peace, many mall cops consider their profession to be a safer alternative to the official police force. “My vision kept me from the NYPD,” said Mall Manager Anthony Dones, referring to his vision. Instead, Dones patrols the lower floors of the massive Metro Mall in Middle Village.

His badge appears almost identical to the NYPD badge, as does his uniform. “In my 20 years of work, they never bothered me about the uniform,” said Dones. Initially, security guards were licensed by the state, after passing a mandated 24 hours of classes. “After 9/11, they got stricter,” said Dones. After it was discovered that private security guards at the Statue of Liberty had out of state crime records, the FBI stepped in. As a result, private security guards anywhere must submit to a federal background check before receiving their licenses.

On the upper levels of the mall, retailers contract private security guards, who work closely with their loss prevention departments in tackling thieves. “We catch hundreds of shoplifters,” said Shane Grella, 28, the loss prevention manager at K-Mart. “The biggest targets are electronics, health, and beauty,” said Grella.

Shoplifters are identified based on reasonable suspicion; they are then followed until they pass beyond the “last point of sale.” At that point, they are confronted by security and taken to the loss prevention office, a windowless room that contains a cell. The thieves are held there until police arrives.

The hazards of being a mall cop can sometimes exceed mere insults. “In the past year, a couple of our guys got punched,” said Grella. At this point, it is up to the storeowners to choose whether to press charges or take less punitive measures. “It’s based on a certain amount of money, we’re generally more lenient with teens,” said Grella. Whatever the legal ramifications, thieves are also barred from returning to the mall.

“I can recognize a face,” said Daniel Gedna, 28, a security guard for the Manhattan-based US Security Associates. For the holiday season, Gedna is working at Metro Mall’s Toys R Us. “I used to work as an auxiliary police officer,” said Gedna. “It’s like an unarmed peace officer.” In his career, Gedna served at a number of locations, including corporate buildings in Manhattan, the World Trade Center, and Saks 5th Avenue. In February, Gedna will face the NYPD entrance exam in hope of becoming a full-time police officer.

The toughest day for mall cops is the infamous Black Friday, when sleep-deprived shoppers crowd at entrances, eager to be the first 100 to earn a discount for certain items. “I had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning,” said K-Mart security guard Antonio Howell, 23. “I was kind of crazy, but not too much.”

In contrast to the fatal Black Friday rush at the Wal-Mart in Valley Stream, which killed temporary employee Jdimytai Damour, the staff of Metro Mall take pride in their security measures. “We have a bigger entrance gate, with more room to run,” said Grella.

Across the hallway at Toys R Us, security guard Rupert Medina, 55, describes a more elaborate procedure. “Everybody lined up against the wall,” said Madina. “They would be allowed in based on the line, in contrast to Wal-Mart “doorbuster” stampede. Medina ordered a row of shopping carts to act as a barrier, and threatened to call the police against line jumpers. “It was a bluff, but if worked,” said Medina.

Aside training for the real police, mall cops can also look forward to comedy, with King of Queens’ Kevin James starring in Paul Blart: Mall Cop, a comedy about a crime fighting shopping mall guard, which will make its theater debut in January. “He’s a real funny dude,” said Howell. But is he worth a movie ticket? “I’d rather wait for the DVD,” said Medina.

In true mall cop style, the film takes place during the holiday season in a state known for its malls- New Jersey, with the title character being an aspirant for the true police force.

 All of the jokes below were my own.

1. Will Fran Drescher and Al Franken create a Comedians Caucus in the Capitol?
2. Don’t we already have a nanny government?
3. America is already a laughingstock, so a comedian legislator just proves the point!
4. With her nasal accent, her colleagues will censure her, before she utters her first word!
5. When this country asked for a change, the Governor appointed a nanny!
6. The Empire State will be represented not by a Kennedy, but by true royalty- someone from Queens, that is!
7. Someone has to keep an eye on Sasha and Malia.
8. Hostile Republicans will subpoena The Nanny for constantly lying about her age as being 29.
9. What’s next? Ray Barone for Comptroller?
10. Drescher’s foreign policy experience- “The Beautician and the Beast.”

But seriously folks, at age 51, she still looks sizzling, too!

A Crap Sandwich

The house on 159th Street and 72nd Avenue in Fresh Meadows was built in 1935, making it one of the oldest in the neighborhood. At the time, its backyard faced the Pomonok Country Club. Even after most of the club’s land became housing projects, a small part remained as an undeveloped block into the late 1980s. For many years, a John Burns resided in it. By early 2008, a new owner, Brian Tsabari’s Alaska Group, Inc. became its new owner. The home became vacant and neglected, as the neighborhood around it continued to crappify. Today, the home is a “Crap Sandwich,” surrounded by taller neighbors.

To my surprise, last week, a sign was installed, announcing the sale of this house. Potential homeowners need not apply, because the sign targets either condo builders, schools, or temples. When I called the broker, Impact Homes, Inc., I was told it was worth $2.5 million and that it has been vacant for 3 and a half years. I was also told that the sale was not intended for potential homeowners. It is a land sale for investors or developers. But, “If you think you can afford it, stop by my office,” the broker told me, before ending the brief phone conversation.

Need a Condo built?

I also called the owner of Boulevard ALP, the massive senior residence that adjoins the old house. They said they have nothing to do with it.

As a neighbor, my question is- What is going on?

This story will appear in the Queens Tribune

Seminerio is facing serious charges, but fellow elected officials are not jumping the gun on his likely future. Charged with corruption, the 16-term assemblyman could face up to 20 years in federal prison. As he ponders a plea deal, no official contender stands to challenge him for his Assembly seat, which he has held since 1978.

“He is on trial and has not been convicted,” said State Senator-elect Joseph Addabbo, Jr. “The party has not commented on his future, pending results of the trial.” Much of Addabbo’s Senate district overlaps Seminerio’s Assembly district, in neighborhoods where Democrats and Republicans have recently faced off in tight contests for State Senate and City Council seats.

In contrast, Seminerio faced no opponents in his latest reelection on Nov. 4, two months after being charged with pocketing $500,000 in payoffs through a phony consulting company that offered favors to organizations doing business with the state. His candidacy was cross-endorsed by the Republican and Conservative parties. In contrast to his Democratic colleagues, Seminerio holds more conservative positions on topics such as abortion, capital punishment, and gay marriage.

Among the possible successors is lawyer Albert J. Baldeo, who narrowly lost to incumbent Serphin Maltese in the 2006 race for state senate. In early 2008, he ran again, but subsequently dropped out to support fellow Democrat Addabbo, who went on to defeat Maltese.

In his law office on Liberty Avenue, photographs show Baldeo shaking hands with a host of prominent elected officials, and awards testify to his experience in community leadership. For now, Baldeo has opted to wait out his options, pending the outcome of Seminerio’s trial. “I will answer the call if Democratic leaders call upon me to run at the appropriate time,” said Baldeo.

At the same time, considering Seminerio’s health and age, the prospect of imprisonment has garnered him some support. “An imprisonment for him would be much harder than for a healthy young man,” said his attorney, Ira Cooper, in an interview with the Daily News.

While the legal woes of an aging incumbent could be a godsend for a young upstart, Baldeo was having none of it. “My heart goes out to him and his family. He has a long serving record of 30 years. He is an institution,” said Baldeo. “I hope the allegations against him are untrue.”

At the same time, Baldeo reports that he has received numerous calls asking when he will declare his candidacy for Seminerio’s seat. “Some say that it is a natural seat for me, and that I am the strongest candidate for that seat,” said Baldeo. “I got 69 percent of the votes in Assemblyman Seminerio’s district when I ran against Senator Maltese in 2006, although Seminerio endorsed Maltese against me.”

Baldeo takes pride in receiving 25 percent of the primary vote against Addabbo even after dropping out, and using his clout to deliver the Senate seat for him in the general election. “That proves that I have a strong base in the district,” said Baldeo.

Should he run, he already has a head start in funding the potential race. “. I have the funds from the Addabbo race available to run against any likely competitors-over $400, 000,” said Baldeo.

“Many tell me that I will be the strongest candidate for this seat.”

Honestly, I am having a hard time figuring out why the most hideous tenements of the last turn of the century are far more pleasing to the viewer than today’s middle-income condos.

An abandoned South Bronx tenement. Note the cornices, keystones, and rounded corner. Photo by Ray Mortenson, 1984

Today’s developers seem to be cutting costs at every available opportunity. It seems that in the New York of 2007, only two architectural styles predominate- glass and steel boxes for the rich, and brick boxes for the poor. Whatever design there is to these buildings, it fails to inspire. Tearing down an older home in favor of high-density dwellings isn’t always bad news, but when it ruins the unique image of the neighborhood-

No stonework or decorations here. The viewer should at least thank the builder for providing gables to break the boredom.

This is New York in 2008. Goodbye aesthetics, and welcome back functionalism. Where these homes stood, there was once beautiful architecture. Usually, only an affluent neighborhood like Park Slope can muster the clout to prevent ugliness from being built. In my home borough, it’s good to see minority and middle-class neighborhoods speaking out against crapitecture.

This Long Island City tenement is a gonner. Expect a glass box in its place. Photo byLIQcity

Architecture critics praise these new glass boxes. It’s the new black, but from a pedestrian’s point of view, there’s really not much to see here. In my opinion, the glass office boxes are related to the brick boxes. Both lack imagination and design. When an abandoned South Bronx tenement looks better than an inhabited 21st century apartment, we have some serious thinking to do.