Kaili Boyd

November 23, 2008

March 31, 2009

Road Recovery’s 2009 Benefit show rocked the Nokia Theatre at Times Square Friday Night. This years’ lineup contained many of the same solid acts from last year including Alice in Chain’s Jerry Cantrell, Wayne Kramer of MC5, Rage Against the Machine/Audioslave shredder Tom Morello & Jane’s Addiction singer Perry Farrell. The evening also included special performances by Billy Bragg & Iggy Pop, and a surprise appearance by Juliet Lewis.

Local radio personalities Matt Pinfield and Leslie Fram from 101.9 WRXP – The New York Rock Experience shared hosting duties. The MC gig was extremely apropos for Pinfield, who announced on the airwaves earlier in the day that he would be taking some time off to return to rehab for an unspecified addition. “Addiction is a disease,” said Pinfield at the show. “I wanted to open up about mine to help take away the stigma…. It’s about the love and support…. If many of the greats that like Keith Moon and Jim Morrison and had that, maybe they’d still be here today.” Get Well Soon Matt, you will be sorely missed.

After a few great performances by the Road Recovery kids and Crazy Jane –the Road Recovery Band, it was time for the veterans to take the reigns. Jane as Police Woman kicked things off, followed later on by Miggs, Ours, and Middle Class Rut.

Highlights of the evening included a two song performance by Tom Morello’s latest project with Coup front man Boots Riley – The Street Sweeper Social Club; Jerry Cantrell’s powerful rendition of Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here, which he dedicated to “those who aren’t with us anymore.” Perry Farrell & his wife Etty wowed the audience with their Satellite Party performance. Iggy Pop gave the crowd just what they came to see, practically swinging from the curtains during I Am Five Foot One. Juliet Lewis belted a kick-ass version of AC/DC’s Dirty Deeds, with Tom Morello, Wayne Kramer, former Guns N’ Roses rocker Gilby Clarke & Jerry Cantrell as part of her backup band.

Towards the end of the night Kramer was honored for his work with Road Recovery –a charity that helps teens and young adults suffering the effects of drug addiction. He was presented with the Keys to Sing Sing Federal Penitentiary, where many of the evening’s performers would be channeling the spirit of Johnny Cash at Folsom during a benefit concert scheduled at the prison for the following day. The show rapped up with righteous all-celebrity performance of MC5’s Kick Out the Jams, lead by band co-founder, Wayne Kramer.

Not that I expected this to be easy, but the semester was quite a bit more arduous than I thought.
I learned loads in class, despite the fact that I had one of the most difficult craft professors on this campus, which may have not been the best way for me to learn what I needed.

But the biggest thing I learned is that I threw all of my best time management skills completely out the window when I started graduate school. All of the things that got me threw a 60 hour week professionally, like my dependence on organizing my life through outlook, went buy, buy the minute I got to campus.

I have learned that I need to stop compartmentalizing my professional life from my academic life and see them as one in the same. This is a professional degree program after all.

I’ve also learned that I need to have more things to do, like work, and internships and volunteering. Somehow, in addition to throwing the best tools I had to manage my time out the window, I also had more time to do classwork and seemed to procrastinate more.

So next semester, here I come, day planner in hand, entourage at my fingertips, with in internship and some volunteering work. And if I’m lucky, a couple of bartending gigs!

The following story, which I submitted to my craft class for my cops and crime story is tragic to say the least. Having myself been a survivor I also thought of rape as something that couldn’t happen to men outside of a prison setting. It was also surprising to me to talk to an advocate who spoke of adult males being raped by women, because as he put it – and I quoted him in the story “our physiology betrays us”. Wow…I mean women feel guilty enough because wheather you are responsive to it or not, you are almost powerless to stop it.

But now I truly understand how if a young boy, or even a grown man could be forced to have sex with a woman, against their own will, and how easy it is to think that a man could think that he wasn’t rape because it might seem like he wanted it. But I won’t ruin the story any further.

Myths of Male Rape
While counseling HIV positive males several years ago on the Lower East Side, Rommell Washington began to witness a strange phenomenon. Within the safe haven of group therapy sessions at the Bowery Residency Corporation, many of his patients confessed to being sexually abused. Some group members revealed that they had been raped or sodomized by family members or someone they knew. Others had been slipped a date rape drug during a night out on the town. Until that moment, Washington had never connected rape as something that could happen to men. “I understand the idea of a woman getting raped, but I didn’t really wrap it around men…I thought of [male] rape as something that happens in prison.”
Washington is not alone. Most men are socialized to think that outside of a prison setting, rape can’t happen to them. But the all too obvious reactions of self-medication and sexual promiscuity often seen in female victims were staring back at him through the eyes of grown men; many of whom will now die of AIDS as a result of their inability to cope. “So many people who are sexually abused just spiral out of control” said Washington. “Sexual abuse becomes a gateway to other negative behavior”. Some victims manage to get help and move past it. But so many others cannot. This is what prompted Washington to apply for a grant to treat male victims of rape and sexual abuse at the Crime Victims Treatment Center in Harlem.
“There is no cultural accommodation for male victims of rape,” said Louise Kindley, Senior Clinical Social Worker at the CVTC. “The lack of accommodation reinforces the unique sense of isolation and humiliation that men suffer through.” Kindley, one of the pioneers of the male survivors group says that female victims of rape and sexual abuse often suffer many of the same symptoms as men with one exception: their sexuality is not called into question. “When a woman is raped she doesn’t wonder if she’s gay. If a man is raped he wonders if he might be gay. If he is gay the abuse reinforces the cultural convention that being gay is a bad thing. “
According to Drs. William C. Holmes and Gail B. Slap, male rape is a crime that is “common, under-reported, under-recognized and under-treated.” One in six men will be sexually abused during the course of their lifetime. Approximately 16 percent of these abuses will happen before the age of 18.
Recent intake statistics from the Emergency Room at St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital on 114th Street, where the CVTC is located, report that 11 to 13 percent of their sexual assault cases are men. Those numbers are likely to be far less than the reality because men are not socialized to get help in sexual assault cases.
Because male victims don’t think rape and sexual abuse is something that should happen to them, they don’t talk about it. They are also less likely to report rape or sexual abuse unless there is a physical injury, which is rare. “It takes 16 years on average for a man to talk about being sexually abused,” said Washington, who is the first person to be funded by the state of New York to treat male victims of rape. “It’s either when they finally feel comfortable enough to talk about it, or when they’re about to explode”.
A small blue pamphlet authored by the CVTC lists several common misconceptions about male sexual assault. The pamphlet, emblazoned with the image of a male survivor and the question “You think it doesn’t happen to men?” debunks myths such as real men can’t get raped, if the perpetrator is another man, the victim must be gay; and arousal during the act equates consent.
“Men can be raped by women too because our physiology betrays us”, say Ken Followell, President of MaleSurvivors.org, an organization formed in 1989 which is dedicated to outreach and advocacy for survivors of male sexual victimization. Followell, who was sexually abused as a child, got involved when he was unable to find the resources for his own healing at the age of 39.
Though there are more resources available than when malesurvivors.org was founded almost 20 years ago, those that exist are still extremely limited. According to Followell, there are only two such programs in the state of Florida where he resides, which is indicative of his findings for the rest of the country. “Many of the resources male survivors need are housed in women’s centers where men are not interested in participating and also not welcomed.” Men are often not welcomed for the obvious reason – most female survivors were assaulted my men, and would prefer not to see them in the healing environment. That being the case, men need their own separate programs as well. Followell said that if outreach and healing is to continue more male-friendly peer groups, support groups, and programs need to be funded. For now, programs like the one at the CVTC and organizations like malesurvivors.org stand as a beacon of hope for those looking the quell the tide of silence, humiliation and isolation associated with male sexual abuse.

I was just checking out a website called the project for student debt. I just discovered that part of the $700 Billion bailout suggested by Henry Paulson and approved by Congress is giving money to prop up private student loan providers. This is ridiculous. Banks charge almost twice the amount of government backed loans when they float students money to pay for school with private funds. For example, my Guaranteed Student Loans, backed by the federal government are currently at an interest rate of about 4 percent. And if I happen to be out of work or taking classes I can defer those loans, which I’m currently doing.

However my one Private Loan through Wells Fargo which was for $25,000.00, started at 10 percent and is currently at 13.5. Forgive me for not reading the fine print because unlike the government, who allows me to defer the loan while I’m in school. I’ve been giving Wells Fargo between $250-$300 per month since the month after I started school. That was 8 years ago and I’ve only knocked off $4,000.00 from the principal. This is preposterous. All I was trying to do is get the best education I possibly could. And I can’t even consolidate the damn thing because it’s a private loan and the rest of my student loans are publicly funded.

I can’t really complain because I know people who attend my alma mater (Syracuse University) and charged the entire cost of their tuition (about $120,000 if you graduate in 4 years) on credit cards. Talk about killing your credit.

But instead of bailing out automakers, who were too arrogant to see the handwriting on the wall 20 years ago, and banks who were involved in business practices that seem crazy to people who don’t study finance (let alone those that do), why no take some of that money which is mounting to almost a trillion dollars at this point and give it to those of us who are drowning in student loan debt?

How about investing in those of us struggling to achieve the American Dream that seems almost unattainable in our lifetime, unlike that of our parents?

When my father graduated from Syracuse University in 1959, the total cost of tuition room & board was $3,000.00. When one of my former empoyer’s graduated from the same school in 1980 it was $10,000. When my sister began attending in 1989 it was $18,000 a year and has taken a $3,000 a year jump every year since. By the time I graudated in 2002 it was $33,000.

So realistically, when am I ever getting out from under this debt? At this rate I’m be collecting a social security check and still paying off student loans.

The Project for Student debt has proposed an idea which I am fully behind: forgiving student loans after 20 years or at your 40th birthday. I’m behind this for the obvious reason – I’ll be 40 in 3.5 years. But honestly, some of the student loans that I can’t afford to pay will be 20 years old at that point anyway.

So if you’re behind this idea, check out their website: www.projectonstudentdebt.org

They’ve got a lot of interesting things to say.

I have a few things to say about the photos below. I am thinking while looking at this that celebrities need to bring back two articles of lingerie that Victoria Secret doesn’t sell: the camisole and the slip.
And when I say that I mean for the purposes of wearing underneathyour clothing, not worn as clothing.

As these photos will clearly state, there are far too many celebrities walking around in front of photogs strutting ALL of their stuff on the red carpet, or in plain view of the general public.

Now don’t get me wrong. I believe that the naked body is a beautiful thing. I don’t go to a public gym in midtown anymore because they’ve been forcing people to not be naked in the locker room, including when exiting the shower – they want you to leave the shower fully toweled up or in a bathrobe and all I carry with me for my swims is a sammy cloth. But that’s a locker room at a gym where one should expect to see bare breasts and naked bottoms. But I’m sorry, I’ve no interest in seeing Serena Williams nipples or Nicole Kidman’s underwear. I’m sure there are lot’s of men out there that would disagree, but some things I think should be left to the imagination. With all the sex on TV I don’t think most of us use enough of that. It seems like when it comes to sex, not enough of us use our imaginations anymore, because, well, we don’t have to.

fashion_fauxpas_or_sheer_brilliance_stars_bare_all.html

Okay, before I show this video I want you to know that this Christmas fair is a must for New Yorkers.The First Presbyterian Church of New York is on 5th Avenue between 11th and 12th Streets and has their Christmas Fair, known as a Tartan Christmas, the first weekend in December every year. The video only hightlights one person in the Antitques room where the silent auction is held but they are practically giving stuff away in there.

Lorraine, Smith, the woman in my video who bid on the kimono, grossly underbid…I as a poor college student outbid her and I didn’t win. In addition All of the money they collect goes to charity. With most charities only 10% of the money goes to charity, the rest goes to the administrative costs for running the charity. With that said, enjoy the bagpiper!

Happy Christmas!

A Tartan Christmas is a holiday fair sponsored by the First Presbyterian Church of New York in the West Village. The fair began in the early 90s as a way to raise money to restore the church garden after it was demolished during reconstruction of the sanctuary. Initially the fair was held in the 12th Street Church House and as success dictated, it was moved to the larger south wing of the church. One hundred percent of the proceeds go to charity. The three charities chosen for this year include a camp for autistic children, a program that helps free wrongly convicted felons through DNA testing, and a program that helps support grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. Approximately $40,000 dollars is raised each year for the selected charities.

10 years ago, Jessica Jones was teaching art for the New York City Public School system.  She settled in the West Village after receiving her Master’s degree from the Savannah College of Art and Design.  She was happily living her life and practicing her passion for photography when tragedy struck. 

Jones, who was diagnosed with Type I diabetes at the age of 7, was suddenly going blind from a condition called diabetic retinopathy at the age of 32. Diabetic retinopathy is the most common diabetic eye disease and a leading cause of blindness in American adults.  It is usually treatable and in most cases progresses slowly.  Jessica was not so lucky.  Despite treatment and surgery, she lost her sight in a matter of eight months.

Upon realizing that her sight loss was permanent, her first concern was not how she would survive, but how would she continue to teach art. She left her job and began the extensive rehabilitation that would eventually include her obtaining a guide dog named Chef- a black Labrador retriever that is the mainstay of her support system.  In the meantime, she began observing art classes being taught to blind and multiply handicapped students.

While struggling to find work as a teacher with no experience teaching special education Ms. Jones began working with a job counselor from the Jewish Guild for the Blind.  It was suggested that she obtain the necessary experience through an internship with one of the schools she had previously contacted to observe classes.  She obtained that experience with the New York Institute for Special Education, who gave her a reference to teach at a school for the Blind in the Bronx.  Her temporary summer employment at the school became permanent in the fall.  She then began to develop a curriculum for a facility catering to the needs of a multiply handicapped population that hadn’t had an art program in almost a decade.

It should be no surprise, even to Jessica that she found her way to teaching art to the blind and multiply handicapped.  While completing her student teaching, Jessica had the opportunity to head her own classes within a population of special education students.  It was from this experience that she developed her thesis around the idea that the production of art can only improve cognitive development in all children.

When most people would have given up hope of ever being able to pursue their dreams, Jones persevered.  In addition to finding her way back to teaching art she also found a way to continue pursuing her love of photography.  She became involved with a project called The Seeing With Photography Collective, a group of blind and sighted photographers that work together to make images.  Before she found a permanent teaching position she also taught a sculpture class to children and worked as a model.  Jessica Jones is living proof that despite adversity, one can still find the path to pursuing one’s dreams.