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I made the mistake of looking at my IRA portfolio yesterday.

Let’s start by admitting that I was not the most financially savvy individual. I was well into adulthood before I got rid of credit card debt and started putting money into a savings account. While people my age were putting down their first payment on an apartment, I was buying a copy of “Money for Dummies” and schooling myself on compound interest. I even forced myself to watch Suze Orman on Oprah. This was it, I thought. I was going to be responsible and save.

I finally did open that IRA account and religiously made monthly deposits. Then the market started slipping. My family and friends advised me not to pay too much attention to the IRA’s daily fluctuations while the market was going on a roller coaster ride of highs and lows.

“The market goes up as well as it goes down,” said my dad, peering through his glasses as he held his pint of beer on a cold winter evening. “This is a long term investment, and short term losses shouldn’t be taken to heart.”

Well, I took it to heart yesterday when I finally gathered the courage to look at my IRA portfolio. Little red downward arrows skipped across the page and thin lines on graphs sharply descended towards the right. “This is not good,” I murmured, as I looked at multiple losses across the board.

We carry certain expectations in this country. We’re told that if we go to school, work hard, and save and invest wisely, we’ll be okay. Even Suze Orman promised me that if I put in the maximum contribution towards my IRA, I’ll see it grow substantially.

I don’t know if that formula works these days. Is this just a larger-than-normal fluctuation in the overall scheme, or something bigger? Is this something unknown, something unprecedented? As for now, I’m losing money, not seeing it grow. The cable shows are filled with people asking money experts about how they can save their retirement funds. It’s been very unstable to say the least.

I walked around my community in Douglaston, Queens yesterday to gather reactions about the crisis on Wall Street. Many residents in the community work within the financial sector, and they were particularly hard hit by the corporate downfall.

“I know 15 people who lost their jobs,” said Kevin Earls, a broker dealer, who was waiting for the train.  “When Wall Street goes down, there’s a bad ripple effect. This is not a good thing.”

It wasn’t just the Wall Street folks who were feeling the effects of the crisis. I talked to one retired man in his 80s who was fearful about having to find a part-time job in order to support himself and his wife. His wife had just lost 14,000 dollars in annuities.

Arthur Adelman, another resident and a small business owner, was angry and frustrated about what was happening on Wall Street. ““[The] companies get the golden parachute,” he said, as he waited to take a train into Manhattan. “It’s the people in the trenches who lose their jobs and really suffer.”

I don’t want to be fearful, but I am concerned. I recently saw a documentary called I.O.U.S.A. It drives the message that America is on the brink of a financial meltdown. It’s scary stuff, but it is worth it to watch the film. Below is the trailer:

In the meantime, I’ll keep my money in my IRA, but I am weary and anxious. Perhaps I should give some thought to stuffing my retirement savings under my mattress. That, or invest in gold and canned goods.