BARBS

One of the funniest bits in recent memory had The Daily Show’s Jason Jones visiting the New York Times, and challenging Assistant Managing Editor Rick Berke to show him “one thing in [the paper] that happened today.”

The heart of the bit, of course, is that newspapers — emphasis on paper – are dead. Old. Yesterday’s news.

Perhaps they are, and there are certainly plenty of examples to prove the point, and observers smarter than I am to outline the argument. That said, however, I was thinking today about why it is that, for now, as much news as I consume online these days, I do not (yet?) want to let my hard-copy subscriptions go. And what I realized is, it boils down to rituals.

• I am not ready to give up the sound of my top-lock latch turning in the morning, so, in my still-half-asleep fog, I can reach down and pick up the papers that were delivered before dawn (unfortunately, as the papers have gotten slimmer, the pre-dawn muffled “thump” is barely audible any more). That latch-turn thing is right up there with the “ahhh!” of the first sip of morning coffee.
• I love spending Saturday and Sunday afternoons on  the couch with the newspaper. I am no more interested in spending those hours with a laptop or Kindle (or, god forbid, some teeny tiny screen in the palm of my hand) than I am in meeting a friend for a nonfat decaf cappucino or a non-alcoholic beer. For those weekend afternoons in a prone position, I need the paper version of the paper; and, too, who wants a Kindle crashing to the floor when the inevitable nap sets in? Newspapers slip nicely off my lap onto the floor, with just a whisp of a sound.
• The print edition is perfect for the endless E train ride out to JFK, and for the time spent waiting to leave the ground once I get there. No flight attendant has ever directed me to shut down or turn off my print edition so we can leave the gate.
• I like having a recycle pile – it makes me feel so “green”!

Guess where I scribbled down the first draft of this blog post? In the margins of today’s New York Times Book Review while waiting on line for a Circle Line ride. I haven’t yet met a device that’ll let me do that. For now, at least, as webby as I have become, I’m still gonna support the paper in newspaper.